Interviewing Alfred


Recently I was fortunate enough to be allowed to interview that well known angler, raconteur and world record holder at international skittle jumping, Alfred Thrashwatter.

GC. Alfred…or may I call you Alf. At 97 you are still a fine figure of a man. I see sitting on your knee is your present girl friend the internationally famous stripper Looslips Mahoney who I believe hails from Attercliffe in Sheffield. How do you stay so fit.

A/T Well Geoff, plenty of fishing ont Trent and Sheffield  cut hail rain snow or blow helps a lot. Mostly clean livin an all.

GC. You say clean living. You still smoke, drink ale and may I say have a very voluptuous young lady sitting on your knee.

A/T Av cut mi fags down now to 65 a day and set aside a bottle of Jameson my beer intake is now less than 12 pints per day.

GC. I still find that quite remarkable.

A/T To tell’t truth I had to cut down to get mi sex life back on track. I found suppin an smokin like I did a were oni goodenough to satisfy her abate four times a day. She’s got a reyt good chest on er and mine were part knackered wi all that smokin. Once a stopped smoking 25 King Edward cigars a day a felt a reet lot better.

GC. As you know I still ride a fast motor bike. What do you ride now.

A/T Well apart from ‘er I ride an R1 Yamaha wi alt go quick bits on it. As you know a went alloer’t place on mi push bike but carryin all mi tackle and sittin her ont cross bar, a were alus gerrin chased wi;t coppers. They ad a bugger of a job catchin mi but sometimes they did an told me off for ridin wi one ‘and so a bought summat a bit faster.

GC As a good Sheffield lad you must have seen many changes over the years both in the city and in angling.

A/T That I ave. One thing that as gone to pot is a lot of our ale. A lot onit today is that smooth s—t. Thas got to gu a long way now to ger a reet good pint of Stoneses bitter. Course thats weer’t motor bike comes in. It dunt take mi long to ger om after a session ont ale. As fo mi fishin a still use my owd greeheart rod and owd wooden reel. Nobdy can beat mi if a set mi stall out. Cleggy keeps callin me up bur av no interest in it. They ony drink lager where they fish them matches abroad.

GC Finally. You have 47 children. Do any of them fish.

A/T No cos they are all lasses. A browt em all of em up stricked like. Them are all refined ladies. Alt lot of em stick to Pernods and Gin wi a bit o’ tonic in it. Thiv all got their own biznisses. Me eldest as got 6 o’ them massajin’ places, our Dolores as got lasses workin for er int town and my Zelda as gorra flurishin emporium groin’ plants under big lamps. She can’t gro enough mate. Al get thi a bundle if tha wants.

At that I decided it was good to see one of the city stalwarts still flying the flag, made my excuses and left.


Leave a comment


Email(will not be published)*


Your comment*

Submit Comment

© 2013 - | website package developed by Cedar Tree Digital Media