Not After 5.30 Please.


Yesterday I was asked to pick a bloke up from Strokestown who had ridden up on the bus from Dublin. I won’t mention his name as the walking disaster may just get upset. When I got there he was siting in Hanly’s bar having just got himself a pint.

I told him to get me a pint and then he realised his wallet was still on the bus.It then came to a frantic series of phone calls to get the wallet picked up by the driver. I,ll give you a few. Ballina 096 71800. Longford 043 334508. Store St Dublin 01 8366111. Westport 098 25253. Help line 01836111. Two more for good measure, 071 9160066 and 01 830223. All lines to our national bus company. Be warned though, don’t ring any of ‘em after 5.30 cos there aint nobody there.

The guy, who, would you believe, last week left his wallet in a taxi, rang Westport this morning and the lucky git had his wallet handed in. When he asked who he could contact if a problem ocurred in the future he was told after 5.30 not a soul was on duty anywhere. He asked what would anybody do in case of illness or any general emergency. He was told to ring the Gards. Can you imagine what reaction you would get at 7 in the evening from the coppers if you asked them to chase a bus across Ireland in the pissing rain to retrieve a wallet. Off, could well be the second word.

So I not only spent almost two hours trying to get somebody to answer a blower and then do the 18 mile round trip to take him home I had to buy his F—-n beer! I must have t–t written across my forehead.



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